In the case of children and divorce, despite what you are going through, you must remain the role model and the parent. Every action that you and your spouse take, your children monitor. This means that if you are petty towards your former spouse, it is likely that you will not receive more than a fight from your ex when it comes to the divorce proceedings and child custody and support. Why should you avoid talking bad about your ex? Here are reasons why you need to remain civil, as cited by the US News.
Your anger and frustration can rub off on your children. During a divorce, your children require a stable environment. Change is difficult for them, particularly when they may be staying full-time with you, rather than your spouse. As your child’s role model, you need to set a good example for how you should deal with the situation. If you act immature and petty, then the children may pick up on that behavior.
Likewise, your child connects to both parents. He or she knows that he or she is a part of you and your spouse. When you bad talk a spouse, your child may internalize what you say. While it is good to have a close relationship with your children, you must remain in the adult role. The children are not your confidants. They may have more difficulty processing your stress and fear. You could end up with a very overwhelmed child. Always have your children in your best interests and do not bad talk the other spouse.
