Ending a decades-long marriage is rarely easy. Even people who are unhappy in their marriages often decide they’d rather stay with the person they’ve spent most of their life with than take a chance on what life will bring if they’re on their own.

Deciding whether or not to end a marriage is a highly personal decision. Obviously, it’s necessary to get out of any kind of an abusive marriage. Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, verbal, sexual or a combination of those, it’s time to go. Do so safely, and make sure that you have support.

There are some other situations in which you need to seriously consider ending the marriage. Let’s look at a few:

Your spouse doesn’t treat you with respect

Over time, many spouses begin to skip the niceties of saying “please” and “thank you” to each other. They’re often more courteous to total strangers than to each other. However, if your spouse is disrespectful to you, and you find yourself justifying their behavior or not even noticing it until someone points it out, it’s worth considering whether they value or respect you.

Disrespect isn’t conveyed only with words. Does your spouse respect the fact that you’d like to embark on a new career, go back to school or pursue an activity that you never had time for when you were raising kids or working 80 hours a week? Staying in a marriage with a spouse who discourages your dreams isn’t healthy.

You don’t foresee anything improving

If your spouse is unwilling to listen to your frustrations with the marriage, has refused to go to counseling with you and isn’t taking even small steps to change, it may be time to call it quits. You’re entitled to pursue happiness, and if your spouse isn’t willing to work towards a relationship that will make both of you happy, that’s a perfectly valid reason to move on.

If you’re seriously considering divorce, it’s wise to get your finances in order and plan for what you will do when you’re no longer living with your spouse. A good first step is to find an experienced family law attorney who can help you with this necessary preparation before you talk with your spouse about divorce.