A family takes time to build, which is why it’s so devastating that it can be destroyed quickly in divorce. You may have relatives who don’t want you to interact with your ex-spouse or their friends or family members. Your ex-spouse might be the one trying to avoid people you both know.
If you have kids, breaking off all contact usually isn’t possible. Even if you and your estranged spouse no longer get along well, you still have to do what you can to work together for the sake of your child.
What should you do if you’re getting a divorce?
Before you announce the divorce to family and friends, you and your spouse may want to talk to one another about how you’d like to handle the divorce. Would you prefer it to be amiable? Do you know what both of you want out of the marriage? Do you have the patience to continue to treat one another with respect? How do you want to continue to interact with each other’s friends and families?
In many cases, people are able to maintain at least some of these relationships. For example, if you have a child, you’ll want to attempt to maintain a civil relationship with mutual friends, your ex-spouse and their family. However, not all situations are the same, so if you find that you can’t get along, there are times when cutting certain people out of your life or out of your children’s lives may be appropriate.
When is it best to cut ties?
Usually, it’s appropriate to cut ties with people who continue to cause conflicts between you and your ex-spouse or your children. For instance, if your ex-mother-in-law berates you when she sees you, influences your children’s opinion of you negatively or belittles you to others, that might be something to address with your ex-spouse, your attorney and the court. At the very least, there can be a reprimand to stop that behavior, since it’s harmful to your child.
It’s also sometimes helpful to cut ties with people who don’t have your best interests at heart. If they’re pushing you to do things you don’t believe in or to settle for less than you should receive as a favor to your ex, cutting ties, at least for a while, might be the right choice.
Relationships always change when people go through divorces. This is a time when you learn of the people you can trust and who will be there for you.