Does divorce need to be bitter?

Does divorce need to be bitter?

You might think divorce is all about the legal paperwork. While that is part of it, divorce is a human story. Unfortunately, that story is often an unhappy one before, during and after the divorce.

Some people see divorce as a way to end an unhappy past, yet it is better to keep your attention forward focusing. If you make the goal “How can we make our futures better,” it helps avoid the backward-looking negativity that often causes divorces to become mired in regret and argument.

If you can keep your divorce civil, it makes it more likely future relations will also be amenable. If you never plan to see each other again, that may not matter to you. Yet sometimes, it is hard to avoid your ex. For example, if you live in a small town, are work colleagues, or move in the same social circles. If you have kids, being able to talk to each other will be even more crucial as you will have to do it regularly for years to come.

What can you do to ease the divorce process?

Look after yourself

When would you say you are more reasonable and can think better? When you are happy and well-rested, or when you are worried, lacking sleep and at your wits end? Consider reducing non-essential commitments to allow you more time to recuperate energy. Schedule a few treats. They do not have to be expensive. Meeting friends for a walk in the park or a night in with a bottle of wine and snacks can add some much-needed fun and connection during a difficult time.

Get the correct information

Once people find out you are divorcing, many will offer well-meaning advice. Yet often, it is wrong. Getting legal help to understand how things work ensures you can make decisions based on facts and reduces the chance you spend time worrying about things that are never going to happen.

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