If you are going through a difficult divorce with your ex and you have children, you may be thinking about ways to avoid co-parenting. The most common custody situation in the aftermath of divorce is joint custody, where both parents share both physical and legal custody with each other.

However, obtaining sole custody of children is very difficult. According to Findlaw, sole custody is only for situations when one parent is either struggling with addiction or has a history of violence.

Why is sole custody hard to get?

In the past, courts were likely to award sole custody to the woman, particularly if the children were young. However, modern research has proven that children do best when both parents are equally involved in their upbringing, even if those parents are not married any longer and do not live together. Plus, the legalization of homosexual adoption has also changed views on parenting.

Given that the family court will work in the best interest of the child, this means that joint custody is currently seen as the best case scenario. This is why it is the most common decree.

Is there any way I can get sole custody?

Again, sole custody is rare. If one of the parents has a documented history of substance abuse or violence, then it is likely the other parent will obtain both physical and legal custody of the children. However, these situations are not the norm.

Remember that it is possible to be a loving parent to your children while maintaining a distance and professional relationship with your ex-spouse. In the majority of cases, co-parenting is better for the kids.